Friday, August 9, 2013

A Couple Of Tough Days & A Small Miracle

Yesterday and the day before were the toughest yet. My father could not get out of a chair on his own and refused to eat or go to therapy. I was at my wits end. He knew it. I did not want to go back this morning; but, before I left yesterday I met with the chaplain for prayer and bought my father a cheese burger at the bistro. He finally ate something.  I also went to my "peace place" for several hours of prayer and meditation...




This guy visited me the last time I took photos. It is a Hemaris thysbe or hummingbird clearwing moth, a Sphingidae.

What a peaceful and serene place to say and practice the "Serenity Prayer".

Today my prayers were answered. My father had a change of heart and attitude. He says he wants to live and he ate well and went to therapy twice with no fuss. For the first time, I did not have to help him get up and down from chairs. He walked the furthest he has walked since his surgery.
Both he and I know we cannot change the inevitable outcome. But for now, he is living one day at a time instead of existing as he was the two days before. I was able to call my brother and share good news for once.
Tonight Evin and I are at peace. We are thankful. My father and mother are truly loved and treated so very well by the wonderfully supportive and understanding caregivers at Abernethy Laurels. When the cantaloupe that the kitchen served was too green two of my father's caregivers brought some to him that was soft and sweet. They never complain when my father is complaining or lacking appreciation. They encourage Evin and me every day.
When I leave each day I kiss my father and mother and tell them that I love them. Tonight, for the first time in several weeks, my mother was able to tell me that she loved me and she called my father by name. She truly smiled several times and laughed. Today was a small miracle for which I am truly grateful.


  1. Very peaceful - it is good that you have such a place to rest your mind and emotions. Is that a type of hummingbird?

  2. No, it is bee or wasp like. It is rather large. Notice that it has antennae and I think six legs.

    Such a beautiful place that I go to often. There has never been another person there when I went unless it was my father or Evin.

  3. After considerable searching I found out what the strange looking bee-like insect is. I answered under the first photo. It is a hummingbird clearwing moth.

  4. Enjoyed the additional photos.

    We had hummingbird moths in Santa Fe - it looked similar.

  5. This is such a hard time you are going through. You are bearing witness to the end of your parents' journey, and it is hard to be the one who must face their anger and fear. That spot you go to meditate and pray is simply lovely. Have you read "Being with Dying" by Roshi Joan Halifax? It is available for Kindle from Amazon. Very helpful for these times and for facing our own mortality too. She runs the Upaya Zen Center in Santa Fe, NM.

  6. Thank you Melissa I appreciate your support.

  7. Wow!!! Love these shots!!! I wish I had a garden like that..I do believe you could do some praying there.

  8. Wow!!! Love these shots!!! I wish I had a garden like that..I do believe you could do some praying there.